


Simple Sort of Lie

by melwil



Category: Spooks | MI-5
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-04-11
Updated: 2011-04-11
Packaged: 2017-10-17 23:08:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/182305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/melwil/pseuds/melwil
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Colin knows it isn't real.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Simple Sort of Lie

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted in 2007

You know it's not real.

There are times when it's just easier to pretend. When the path of least resistance involves donning the pieces of a costume, or adopting someone else's legend. When the simplest thing is a simple lie.

But, of course, there's no such thing as a simple lie.

There are times when the unreality takes over your whole life, when you find yourself staring at her across the grid. When you want to pinch yourself because you can't believe that she's really yours.

But then . . . well, she isn't, is she.

 

It was your idea, of course, back when it all started. It was too late to be working, but she was still there, and you couldn't help the words that tumbled out.

“Would you, I mean, do you fancy a drink, Ruth?”

She looked up, a small smile crossing her lips, and you realise that there are dark circles under her eyes. You wondered how long it's been since she did something for herself, since she took time out away from the job. “I can't,” she said, “I mean, I shouldn't, Colin. But, thank you.”

“Why not?” You pulled a chair up next to her desk. “There's nothing looming over the horizon at the moment. Come out and have something to drink. A few laughs, even.”

“I don't . . .well, I suppose I haven't been up for fun or laughs lately.” She shrugged. “Maybe if I was someone else.”

“Well, we're spies, aren't we?” You leaned in towards her. “Pretend that you're someone else. Pretend I'm someone else. We can be other people for the night. Come and have a drink we me, Ruth. It's not good to be here all the time.”

Ruth smiled and looked away from you. The silence hung between you, and you held your breath, waiting. “Alright,” she said finally, with a tiny nod. “Let's do it.”

It seemed so simple at first.

You sat in the pub and shared the conversation of normal people. She talked about the stupid things her cat did, and you tried to explain the finer points of cricket. You walked her home, and she smiled and laughed. You kissed her on the cheek.

“We should do that again.”

Two times turned into four, and then seven, and then you lost count.

And the lies kept getting bigger.

 

“We don't have any stories.” She looked up at you, and you smoothed her hair away from her face. “If we're going to do this properly, we really ought to have stories.”

You laughed. “Aren't you taking this too seriously?”

She grabbed your hand and squeezed it. “If we're pretending to be other people, then we should have some sort of background.”

You smiled. “You mean sweet tales of our first meeting, and funny stories about our first fight?”

“Don't forget the time you first met my parents.” She laughed with you, her fingers tangling through yours. “I suppose we're taking it too far.”

You kissed the back of her hand. “I never thought you'd let me take it this far.”

 

You heard her crying, late into the night, after the first time you slept together. You closed your eyes and pretended to sleep on.

You didn't know what she expected of your character anymore.

You can't remember where you end and the character begins.

 

There are times when you can't believe she's really yours. When you've wrapped your arms tight around her, and her face melts into a smile and the world just seems to fall perfectly into place. When she smiles at you across the grid, and you have to look away to prevent the colour from rising in your cheeks.

Sometimes it's just easier to live the lie.


End file.
